"LOVE TO" VS "HAVE TO"

After a pair of “eye opening” back-to-back sessions with professional hitting clients, JP calls on inspiration from the recent F1 movie starring Brad Pitt, to remind hitters of the most potent fuel available in their craft: PASSION. 

(Five-Minute Friday episodes are short-form podcasts roughly five to ten minutes in length, intended to provide a quick-hit of inspiration for hitters heading into the weekend.)

Transcript

THERE’S A SCENE IN THE NEW F1 MOVIE WHERE BRAD PITT’S CHARACTER, SONNY HAYES, WHO WANTS TO DRIVE DESPITE POTENTIAL LIFE-THREATENING INTERNAL INJURIES, SAYS THIS ABOUT GETTING BACK IN THE RACE CAR: 

“IF THE LAST THING I DO IS DRIVE THAT CAR, I WILL TAKE THAT LIFE, MAN. A THOUSAND TIMES.”

IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE I WON’T BLOW IT FOR YOU — BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SONNY IS A 50-SOMETHING DUDE WHO CONTINUES TO RACE… IN ALL FORMS OF RACING… FOR ONE PURE PURPOSE: 

HE LOVES IT. 

HE ISN’T RACING FOR ATTENTION OR FAME OR MONEY OR ACCOLADES OR SOCIAL MEDIA DOMINANCE OR ANY DAMN THING… OTHER THAN THE WAY RACING MAKES HIM FEEL. THE WAY IT CHALLENGES HIM. THE WAY IT CALLS ON HIM TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF HIMSELF. 

HE DOES IT FOR THE LOVE OF IT. 

IN PSYCHOLOGICAL PARLANCE THIS IS CALLED AN AUTOTELIC EXPERIENCE… MEANING THAT THE PRIMARY MOTIVATION AND REWARD IS IN THE DOING OF THE ACTION. NOTHING MORE. NOTHING LESS. 

PURE PASSION. 

A FEW WEEKS AGO, AFTER BACK-TO-BACK SESSIONS WITH TWO OF MY HITTING CLIENTS… ONE A MINOR LEAGUER AND ONE A BIG LEAGUER… IT CAME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THE LOVE WE HITTERS FEEL FOR THE ACT OF HITTING… IS OFTEN OBSCURED AND CORRUPTED BY THE ATTENTION WE PLACE AWAY FROM THE ACT ITSELF. AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS… IN THIS HIGHLY COMPETITIVE AND DIFFICULT HITTING ENVIRONMENT… WE CUT OFF THE FLOW OF OUR TALENT… THE VALVE CLOSES UP TO A MERE DRIP… AND WE END UP PERFORMING AS MERE SHELLS OF OURSELVES. 

IN THOSE SESSIONS WITH THOSE TWO HITTERS, GUYS WHO, BY THE WAY, ARE BOTH SUPER SELF AWARE AND WILLING TO FACE THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR… THEY ESSENTIALLY SAID THE SAME EXACT THING TO ME…

“JP, I AM SO TIRED OF GOING TO THE PLATE FEELING LIKE I “HAVE TO” GET A HIT. IT’S ABSOLUTELY KILLING ME.”

THEY ECHOED A SENTIMENT THAT SO MANY PLAYERS FEEL… BUT SO FEW PLAYERS ACTUALLY VOICE AND ACKNOWLEDGE.

THAT SENSE THAT THEY “HAVE TO” GET A HIT… TO STAY IN THE LINEUP… TO KEEP THAT OPS UP… TO GET MORE PLAYING TIME… TO GET CALLED UP… TO WIN THE COACHING STAFF’S CONFIDENCE… TO IMPRESS THAT RECRUITING COORDINATOR… TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS PROUD… TO PLEASE THEIR AGENTS… TO PROVE THEIR CRITICS WRONG… 

AND ON AND ON. 

YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. 

WHAT’S YOUR “HAVE TO” FEEL LIKE? WHERE DOES YOUR “HAVE TO” GET A HIT COME FROM? 

WHEN WE ARE FUELED BY WORDS LIKE “HAVE TO” IN HITTING… WE ARE HEADING TOWARD A DEAD END. SURE, THE FEELING OF “HAVING” TO DO SOMETHING MAY CREATE BRIEF MOMENTS OF URGENCY AND MOTIVATION AND FOCUS… BUT IT’S NOT A LONG-TERM STRATEGY FOR SUCCESS. 

COMPETING FROM A PLACE OF “HAVE TO”… 

CREATES AN INTERNAL HITTING ENVIRONMENT WITH A FOUNDATION BUILT ON HIGH STRESS, HIGH EXPECTATION, AND HIGH EFFORT. 

I DON’T CARE HOW GOOD YOUR SWING IS… HOW POLISHED YOUR APPROACH IS… AND HOW STRONG YOUR MINDSET IS…

THAT FOUNDATION WILL FAIL… IT WILL CRUMBLE… IT WILL BOTTOM OUT BENEATH YOUR FEET. 

IT IS SIMPLY NOT SUSTAINABLE. 

AND IT LEADS TO THE PERILOUS “GUN TO THE HEAD” MENTALITY I HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT BEFORE. WHERE I HAVE BIG LEAGUE HITTERS TELLING ME THEY FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A GUN TO THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY ARE AT THE PLATE…

AND THEY “HAVE TO” GET A HIT… 

OR ELSE. 

SCREW THAT. 

THAT IS NO WAY TO HIT… NO WAY TO PLAY THE GAME… AND CERTAINLY NO WAY TO LIVE. 

IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY COMPETING LIKE THIS… THE CLOCK ON YOUR BASEBALL CAREER IS TICKING DOWN… AND FAST… 

SO LET’S PUT AN END TO THAT “HAVE TO” MENTALITY” — FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PERFORMANCE, YOUR FULFILLMENT ON THE FIELD… AND YOUR OVERALL WELL-BEING. 

AND THE WAY WE ARE GOING TO DO THAT IS BY MAKING A BIG INTERNAL SHIFT… THE KIND YOU FEEL IMMEDIATELY… THE KIND THAT CREATES AN INTERNAL COURSE CORRECTION. 

I WANT YOU TO THINK OF THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO OUTSIDE OF BASEBALL… THINGS THAT REALLY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD… 

MAYBE YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. OR YOU LIKE TO FISH. OR PLAY POOL. OR GO MOUNTAIN BIKING. OR MAYBE YOU SURF. 

WHATEVER IT IS… 

THINK ABOUT HOW YOU LOVE TO DO IT… THE WAY IT MAKES YOU FEEL… THE FREEDOM, THE ENJOYMENT… OF JUST ENGAGING THAT ACTIVITY. THERE IS NO PRESSURE. THERE IS NO STRESS. 

THERE IS NO “HAVE TO” INVOLVED. 

THERE MAY BE A “WANT TO” — YOU WANT TO CATCH THAT FISH… YOU WANT TO LEARN THAT NEW SONG ON THE GUITAR… YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO HIT THAT TRICK SHOT ON YOUR NEW POOL TABLE… 

AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO? 

BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE WAY IT MAKES YOU FEEL. SIMPLE AS THAT. 

NOW THINK BACK WHEN YOU WERE A KID… LAUNCHING WIFFLE BALLS IN YOUR BACKYARD… OR HITTING ON A FIELD WITH YOUR DAD… PUTTING ON A LASER SHOW FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU… OR TAKING HACKS WITH A BUNCH OF BUDDIES… SEEING WHO COULD SWING LIKE PUJOLS OR CABRERA OR JETER OR TROUT… 

THINK ABOUT THE TIME YOU GOT YOUR FIRST PAIR OF BATTING GLOVES. THE WAY THEY FELT ON YOUR HANDS. THE WAY THEY MADE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG LEAGUER. OR THAT NEW BAT YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE MOMENT YOU HELD IT… LIKE AN EXTENSION OF YOURSELF WHEN YOU SWUNG IT. YOU WERE ONE WITH IT. 

I REMEMBER GETTING MY FIRST PAIR OF CONVERSE CLEATS WITH DETACHABLE SPIKES — WHICH WERE A THING BACK IN THE DAY — THEY WERE PATTERNED AFTER THE ONES MY CHILDHOOD HERO, DON MATTINGLY, WORE. AND MAN, WHEN I PUT THOSE BABIES ON FOR THE FIRST TIME… I WAS WALKING ON CLOUDS… EVERY STEP FELT LIKE I WAS PLAYING AT YANKEE STADIUM. 

THE POINT IS… THERE WAS LOVE THERE. 

WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH BEING A HITTER AT SOME POINT. 

WE LOVED EVERY SINGLE FACET OF IT.

BUT WHAT WE LOVED MOST WAS THE WAY IT FELT WHEN WE HIT THE BALL… WHEN WE SQUARED IT UP… WITH JUST THE RIGHT TRAJECTORY… TO MAKE THAT SUCKER SING AND SOAR THROUGH THE AIR… MOONBOUND. 

I LIKEN IT TO A TUNING FORK BEING STRUCK INSIDE OF YOU… EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY SEEMS TO FEEL IT. 

THERE IS NOTHING ON EARTH QUITE LIKE IT. 

AT SOME POINT… WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH… THAT… FEELING. 

WE ALL JUST LOVED TO HIT THE BASEBALL. 

SO HOW DOES THAT PURE FEELING AND PURPOSE… TURN INTO SOMETHING AS CORRUPTED AS  “I HAVE TO GET A HIT?”

WHERE DID… HAVE TO… REPLACE LOVE TO?

THAT’S A QUESTION EACH OF US MUST ANSWER FOR OURSELVES. BUT NO DOUBT OUR ANSWERS ARE RELATED IN SOME MANNER — OVER TIME A SHIFT OCCURRED SIPHONING OUR FOCUS AWAY FROM THE SIMPLE JOY OF HITTING. 

MAYBE IT STARTED WHEN YOU SAW DISAPPOINTMENT IN A PARENT WHEN YOU DIDN’T GET THAT BIG HIT THEY WERE USED TO YOU GETTING. OR MAYBE YOU HAD A STRING OF SOFT CONTACT AND THE HITS STOPPED FALLING FOR THE FIRST TIME. OR MAYBE A COACH QUESTIONED SOMETHING IN YOUR SWING — OR OFFERED UNSOLICITED ADVICE AND TOLD YOU TO DO THIS OR THAT. 

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT WAS. 

IT OPENED A DOOR.

AND SLOWLY THE WORLD OF RESULTS AND DOUBT BEGAN TO SEEP INSIDE.

IT WAS NO LONGER ENOUGH TO FEEL GOOD SLIPPING THOSE BATTING GLOVES ON, OR ENJOYING THE SENSATION OF THE CLAY UNDER YOUR CONVERSE CLEATS, OR SIMPLY LOVING THE WEIGHT OF THE BAT IN YOUR HANDS… 

NO… NOW WHEN YOU STEPPED TO THE PLATE…

THERE WAS A POTENTIAL PRICE. 

THE MAGICAL QUEST TO HIT… THE ONE THAT HAD BEEN BRINGING YOU JOY… NOW HAD A COST.

EXPECTATIONS REPLACED THAT PURE INTENTION. 

THE AXIS OF YOUR HITTING WORLD TILTED. 

AND SOON THE “LOVE TO” GOT SHOVED ASIDE… AND REPLACED BY “HAVE TO.” 

AND THE CHASE WAS ON. 

THE CHASE FOR THINGS YOU COULDN’T CONTROL… THE CHASE FOR RESULTS, THE CHASE FOR COMPLIMENTS… FOR RECOGNITION… FOR APPROVAL… THE CHASE TO MEET ALL THE EXPECTATIONS SHOWERED UPON YOU — BY YOURSELF, YOUR PARENTS, COACHES, TEAMMATES, WHOMEVER. 

THE LOVE GOT LOST UNDER ALL THESE THINGS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING — JP, THE GAME GETS HARDER. HITTING BECOMES A HELL OF A LOT TOUGHER AS YOU CLIMB THE LADDER. THAT’S THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF THINGS. 

AND I WOULD SAY… ABSOLUTELY. 

IT’S TRUE. 

BUT I WOULD ARGUE THAT IT MAKES “THE LOVE” THAT MUCH MORE VALUABLE. AND IMPORTANT. 

SOMETHING WORTHWHILE NEVER COMES EASILY. IT HAS LITTLE VALUE IF IT IS SOMETHING THAT UNFURLS ITSELF AT OUR FEET WITH LITTLE TO NO EFFORT. 

HITTING THE BASEBALL IS A WORTHY FEAT. WHEN WE DO IT RIGHT — IT MAKES US FEEL INVINCIBLE FOR THAT SPLIT SECOND THROUGH CONTACT… AND MAYBE WE CARRY THAT FEELING WITH US AS WE ROUND FIRST BASE, RIGHT? 

TOP OF THE WORLD. 

BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF THE BALL IS CAUGHT? 

WHAT THEN?

THAT FEELING TURNS SOUR. AND FAST. 

THE HARD HIT, SQUARED UP BALL… WELL… THAT FLASH OF ELECTRICITY WE FELT IN OUR BONES IS WASHED AWAY BY DISAPPOINTMENT AND FRUSTRATION. 

AND THE CHASE CONTINUES. 

OFTEN INTO A SPIRAL.

DOWNWARD. 

BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 

YOU SEE, WE DIDN’T GET A HIT EVERY TIME AT BAT AS A KID. EVEN IF IT FELT LIKE IT. WE EVEN MADE OUTS IN WIFFLE BALL GAMES AT BARBECUES. I PROMISE YOU. 

BUT IT DIDN’T DETER US, DID IT? 

THE LOVE WAS NOT LOST. 

WHEN WE WALKED TO THE PLATE… WE WERE EAGER AND EXCITED… NOT RELUCTANT AND FEARFUL. WE SAW OPPORTUNITY AND POSSIBILITY! AND ALTHOUGH WE WANTED TO HIT THAT DAMN BALL AS WELL AND AS FAR AS WE COULD… WE LOVED THE ENTIRE EXPERIENCE. 

WE LOVED PULLING THAT HELMET ON, FEELING THOSE LEATHER GLOVES GRIP THE BAT, THE CRUNCH OF OUR CLEATS, THE SPARKS OF EXCITEMENT IN OUR BELLY…

WE LOVED TO BE A HITTER. 

WE LOVED HITTING. 

NOT JUST HITTING THE BALL, MIND YOU. IT WAS MORE THAN THAT. IT WAS THE ALL-ENCOMPASSING EXPERIENCE OF IT. THE WAY IT CONSUMED OUR FOCUS AND CALLED ON EVERY PART OF OURSELVES TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE INCREDIBLE TASK AT HAND. 

FOR THOSE BRIEF MOMENTS WE GOT IN THE BOX EACH GAME…

WE WERE TRULY CAPTIVATED. 

AND WE STILL CAN BE. 

WE NEED ONLY CHOOSE TO BE MORE LIKE THE SONNY HAYES CHARACTER IN F1… WE NEED TO REMEMBER WHY WE ARE HITTERS. NOBODY “HAS TO” BE IN THAT BOX. NOBODY “HAS TO” GET A HIT. NOBODY “HAS TO” DRIVE THEMSELVES TO THE POINT OF EXTREME ANXIETY AND FEAR. 

WE PICK UP THAT BAT BECAUSE WE LOVE IT. 

HELL YES WE WANT TO GET HITS. WE WANT TO PERFORM.

BUT THE LOVE HAS TO FUEL EVERY ASPECT OF WHAT WE DO. 

OR THE TRUTH IS…

WE PROBABLY WON’T BE DOING IT VERY LONG. BECAUSE THE LOVE OF HITTING IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN TRULY SUSTAIN US. 

SO MAKE THE SHIFT FROM “HAVE TO”… INTO “LOVE TO.”

AND PUT THAT “GUN TO THE HEAD MENTALITY” IN YOUR REARVIEW. 

ONCE AND FOR ALL.